Why I'll be taking my children to Burning Man for the seventh year!

I first heard about Burning Man about 10 years ago. It's a week long art festival that happens every year the week before Labor Day in the Black Rock Desert just North of Reno NV. They build a virtual city in the middle to the desert on Indian land and 50,000 people show up. People camp in villages at Burning Man, some with 1,000 people in them and some just little groups together. Burning Man is about radical creative Self Expression, people are in costumes, wild costumes, some are naked, there are 100s of amazing art installations, some over 100 ft tall, many that you can climb on! The art is funny, wild, many pieces have a real message to deliver, some just take your breath away beautiful.

Burning Man is a different experience for everyone and you can find whatever you are looking for. Just like in life, it's all available and you have to make lots of choices about what you do and who you hang out with.

Some people come to Burning Man to party, to dance all night long, to explore spirituality or sexuality, to learn, listen to great speakers on every topic, to do yoga, contact improv, to meditate, to perform, to spin fire (there are 5,000 fire performers every year at Burning Man), to play, to dress up, to get loose, to forget who they are in the default world and discover a more authentic "unconditioned" self , to experience profound opening and expansion, to get real, to explore and discover. There are hundred of workshops on every topic offered, you can get a massage, a haircut, a pedicure, a tantric class, your whole body painted with glitter, you can make great new friends and have amazing experiences together and you won't even know their real names (most people have playa names they go by.. mine is gypsy mama) or what they do for a living.. and frankly you don't care.. people are open, loving, helpful, offering gifts and saying yes to all kinds of things they may not say yes to at home!

Burning Man is a gift economy, everyone is offering different things, services, hugs, jewelry, lessons, entertainment, food, etc.. There is nothing for sale here except ice and coffee.

So I took my kids to Burning Man because I met an 11 yr old girl at a homeschool camping trip 7 years ago that rocked my world. A friend told me that there was a family of Burners on the camping trip and they'd been 3x. I was very excited to meet them. I saw this girl from about 100 yards away. I felt her. I walked up to her (I'd never met her and did not know her name) I reached out and put my hands on the sides of her waist and I pushed my belly up against her's (I have no idea why) and I rubbed my belly against her's. She went with it.. she smiled like she know this was what we were supposed to be doing..

I said to her I hear you've been to 3 burns, she nodded her head. And has it shaped you as a person I asked, oh yes, she replied. Will you tell me about it, I asked? Yes she said and she started telling me stories about her experiences on the playa.

After just 10 minutes of talking to her I knew we would go to the Burn that year, I changed our plans for the summer to plan to be there and I knew that bringing my kids would be a huge part of our homeschooling experience.

We camped in Kidsville, a family camp of about 400-500 people. Kids play on trampolines and climbing structures from morning till night, every family offers activities, rides on their art cars, kid swapping so parents can get out and do some adult things and share meals. We usually split our time between hanging out in kidsville and roaming the playa and climbing on art and participating in all of the hundreds of activities offered. There are not a lot of kids at Burning Man, I've found that most people are really happy to see my kids, to talk with them, to offer things to them and to play with them.

A few of the highlights, my kids favorite activities  - dodgeball camp - last year we played dodgeball every night, a few kids there, mostly adults, rocking music and lots of fun! Smores camp, they serve smores every night at 7pm around a big fire.. big hit! There are camps with obstacle courses, giant swings, trampolines, mini golf courses, trapeze ropes to walk, rings to swing on, hula hooping, fire spinning, fire hooping, costumes camps, camps offering food - ramon, bacon, yummy stuff.  Haircut camps, Reese got a mohawk last year! The kids get to battle in Thunderdome with foam bats and bungee harnesses on.. Last year my kids were invited to play Fire Dodgeball, yes they wore big gloves and flung a giant ball on fire at the other team, crazy! And the most incredible music, art, performance art, art cars roaming the playa and amazing inspiring people really enjoying themselves and sharing their merriment.

My kids love Burning Man, they make friends, play all day, get their hearts and minds opened and get to see tens of thousands of adults playing like kids just for the fun of it.

We'll be in Kidsville again this year, it's at 530 & D. If you are on the playa, stop by and say hi, just ask someone where Gypsy Mama's camp is.

Argue with Reality at your own Peril..

Being a mom I'm often asking myself, what do I really want for my kids? What am I modeling for them? What are my actions teaching them? I felt growing up that my parents told me to "do as I say not as I do." My response was always "but your actions are so loud, I can't hear your words!"

More often these days I know that the most important thing I can demonstrate for my children is that I am aware even in my most afflictive thoughts and feelings that there is this "well being" that is always on, a stable ground in the midst of the tsunami of emotions. My kids and I have a code word we use with each other when we notice big upset, we simply say, Remember! Remember who you are, remember you can take a deep breath, remember that no matter how you feel, you are always ok, coming back the "okness" is always an option, it's always there.  This simple reminder to Remember came out of this experience below.

About a year ago, I was having a conversation with a few friends, I'd enrolled my kids in a musical and they were really upset after the first day of rehearsal. It's never easy when your child has a total meltdown and refuses to participate in an activity that I know they'll likely enjoy once they are over the "thing". So they are both very upset and I found myself getting derailed by their big feelings.

Instead of just opening my heart to my children and offering my highest gift -my own total stability - I fell into a story that the gal running the theater didn't really do a good job of making the kids comfortable the first day. Instead of fully allowing my kids to have their experience and being willing to acknowledge my own discomfort in seeing my kids so upset. I blamed, I projected, I made her wrong and thus, moved away from the intense sensation in myself and in my kids. I got overwhelmed and fell into the habit of blame. Then I started to tel the story to my friends.

Anyone relate? So I'm in my little fit, criticizing the theater gal and suddenly my friend Mikki Willis said to me, JoAnne, maybe you should really just stop complaining and criticizing (especially in front of your boys). I was floored.. I heard him, I resonated with what he was suggesting, but I was so deep in my justified "story" that what he was suggesting was not even on my radar.

Anyone relate? No matter how much spiritual work you've done (I've done quite a bit), we all have these pockets of unconsciousness, these places we find ourselves where we are deep in a story of "wouldn't it be better if ________ " (fill in the blank). Wouldn't it be better if they would do this? Act like this? not have done that? All of these "stories" are an argument with reality. They are all saying that it's not ok what's here now.

To really get what I'm saying here you've got to know the difference between what is here now and you're story about what is here now.. The clearer we get, the more we see, the less deluded we are, the less hypnotized, wrapped up in stories, the less we blame, criticize, complain or make anyone or anything wrong.

The clearer we are, the more grounded we are, the less we argue with what is. It took me about a year, but this became very clear, I made the pledge recently to not blame, criticize, complain or make anyone or anything wrong. It's been the greatest liberation I've every known and a gift I am moved to share with others.

This is what I want to model for my children. To learn to be present with themselves, to know what is arising in them and to meet it fully with an open heart and open mind. To take full responsibility for my own stable, well being. This capacity to be completely clear that no one can make me happy and no one can make me unhappy, that is up to me. It's up to me, I determine my own attitude, how I see the world, where I fight and struggle with myself and others or if I can find the space of surrender within.

In the commitment to not complain, not to argue with life, not to blame others as if they are the cause of my upset, but to stay lovingly present with myself as emotions arise, to allow them fully and let them land in the ground like fertilizer for my own soil. This accepting of full responsibility for my own experience and commitment to stay present with what arises is where I've found great liberation and great empowerment. It's the end of believing that I'm a victim of life and the end of believing that I'm in lack or that I don't have what I need to thrive and be happy and content. What greater gift could I offer myself or could I model for my children?