3/9/08 The Big Lie!!

Since arriving in Boulder, we've discovered a new game called Go! It is an ancient Chinese strategy game, looks like Othello, plays more like Chess and a group gathers every week at the library on sunday afternoon to play. They have adults there to teach and there are usually 30 or so folks and they all play each other for 3 hours or so.. Reese had been attending for 4 weeks or so when they announced that they were having a tournament that the kids could come and compete in. The day of the tournament was a day they were spending with Steve and I gave him all the details so they could attend. Two days later Reese was back with me and I asked him about the Go Tournament, he told me yes they went, he spent 20-30 minutes telling me about each of the 4 games he played, he told me that he beat out his friend Gunner (who is 10) and about his other 4 matches and he said that he placed 2nd overall. He gave me lots of details about each of the kids he played, what happened in the game and so on.

Later that day we had a playdate with Gunner and I asked him about the tournament and he said yes, he really enjoyed it and he told me how he did. I asked him about the match he had with Reese and he said Reese was not there, he had not shown up. I was so surprised!! Yes, Reese has definitely experimented with lying before, I think most kids did, I certainly did probably more than most kids do. But never before had he had such an extravagant lie, so detailed, lasting almost 30 minutes.

Later we talked and I tried to dialogue with Reese and ask him why he told such a tale, what was going on for him.. after much thought, he was blank, unsure so I offered up some ideas and asked him why when his dad asked him if he wanted to go the the tournament he said no, he did not want to go.

After some talk, he admitted that he was nervous about the tournament, he was not sure he'd actually like it, a bit intimidated I think.. it reminded me of our experience with Ameritowne, after 2 days of preparation he did not want to attend the day of the event. I don't know how it will be, what it will be like.... of course you don't .. we never know how things will be before we do them.. so that spurred a great discussion about openmindedness and closedmindedness and contempt prior to investigation. I suggested to Reese that maybe he told the lie to make up for the fact that he missed an event that he really wanted to attend but he let his fear dictate his actions. He really saw it and vowed to be more openminded and more available for life, it was a beautiful moment. I feel like this is really homeschooling, using the activities of life to fuel discussion and learning, learning from our experiences, with counsel and assistance, to see what works well in life and not so well, and be able to adjust and grow. what a gift. I am so appreciative that I have the intimacy with my boys, this open discussion, to explore ouselves, our motivations, why we are inclined in the ways we are and to question our fears and how they operate in our lives and limit us..
what could be more important??